Famous sporting stars visiting Pembrokeshire – Feature No 6:

 

Paul Merson - English International Footballer and terrific raconteur!

 

One of the most compelling and enjoyable speakers I have ever met was Paul Merson, who played football for Arsenal, Middlesbrough, Aston Villa, Portsmouth, Walsall and England, because it wasn’t the typical stand up and tell the same old footballing jokes also churned out by players charging huge fees to get them to travel so far west - but a trip down his life in the game, warts and all - but with the biggest wart I have ever heard to start off.
 
Merson had been brought to the Merlin Theatre, Haverfordwest by David Hughes, who was the chairman at that time of Haverfordwest County AFC - and did a rattling good job.
 

Not the best start to a pro career . . .

 
I was MC for the evening, with questions from the audience, which started off with an introduction to the top level that was an illuminating lesson for ambitious youngsters where he described his first week with ‘The Gunner’s and being presented with his weekly pay packet before the prospect of using the underground train to travel to his mother’s home.
 
The manager appointed a ‘minder’ to escort him to the station but the second-year apprentice took Merson into the local betting shop en route - and they emerged an hour later with no cash still left in his first pay packet!
 
On the way home he realised that he still had to explain his lack of money so when he got near home, he banged his head against a wall and when he arrived home told his mother he had been assaulted en route - and she was so sorry for him that Mrs Merson gave him the £100 she had been given for his food and lodge for that week.
 
He went training the following day and again visited the betting shop - and the same thing happened as that sum disappeared too!
 

. . . Which got worse later on!

 
It was the start of the star’s addiction to gambling, which blighted all his playing days, as did the dreaded drink that ruined so many players of his era. There were other stories told, without a sound in the audience, other than huge billows of laughter when he arrived at the punch lines!
 
Another most memorable saga came from his days when he joined Middlesbrough and started off by going from London to his new club every day on the train. IT was clearly not working and so his new manger offered him a big pay increase and with money each week for his brother to stay with him in a four-bedroomed house.
 
But then the club signed Paul Gascoigne and they had the bright idea of his joining the Mersons in their accommodation, accompanied by his drinking pal, known to all as ‘Jimmie Five-Bellies. It was a recipe for disaster because this bored quartet devised a game for their afternoons or evenings where his brother would go to buy plenty of wine and aspirin.
 
It involved forfeits, paying a cash sum into the kitty, and then taking the tablets alongside large glasses of wine - and the winner of the money in the kitty was the last person still wide awake as the others slept their booze off!
 

A great playing career despite his going off the rails!

 
There was also an intriguing insight into playing at the highest level, as he did, which included 327 games for Arsenal, where George Graham was a great influence as manger as he scored 78 goals, Middleborough (48 games), Aston Villa (117), Portsmouth (45), and Walsall (77) as part of a career where  he played 626 games, scoring 127 goals,
 
He represented England 21 times, including at the EUFA Euro competition in 1992 and the 1998 FIFA World Cup as a measure of his ability, after 8 games with England B, and was manager of Walsall for two seasons.
 
George Graham was held in high regard as manager and he was part of teams which won two league titles, the FA Cup. League Cup and European Cup-Winners’ Cup
 
Then Merson finished off at tiny clubs like Tamworth, Welshpool Town, Caerau and Hanworth Villa!
 
But we also learned  a great deal about his career at the highest level and his stories really were intriguing. There was no jokes, no fuss, no exaggeration: just a captivating evening  I will never forget and which I would willingly attend again tomorrow if I had the chance!