Derek’s really in the pink
Derek Roberts last featured in this column when he travelled to New Zealand and created the myth that he was a great angler as he posed for his photograph alongside a giant marlin, freshly caught – but has been teased recently at the Bridge Meadow Stadium about a recent escapade involving slightly smaller fish this time.
The Haverfordwest County 2nds’ manager is a painter and decorator by trade and he was recently painting the back of his house a nice shade of pink, totally at peace with his world as he stood on a small platform and brushed away. But for some reason he slipped slightly and the tin of pink paint arced nicely over his shoulder and straight as an arrow landed in his recently created goldfish pond.
As quick off the mark as he is, the man known to his players as ‘Rocco’ was unable to stop the paint slowly slurping into the pond but I am relieved to report that he was able to save the poor fish from being changed from goldfish to pinkfish! He then had to admit his faux pas to his smashing wife Byddug, who was understandably not best pleased with her old man. There have been several efforts to clean the pond up and I am glad to say that things are returning to normal at their Merlins Bridge home – but any mention of gold fish to Mr Roberts is sure to see him turn a bright shade of pink!
John catches the London train, by accident
It seems that the gang at the Bridge Meadow Stadium are a little accident-prone at the moment because John Roberts, who has been the first-team first-aid man for a number of years after yeoman service as a player, had a train journey he didn’t bargain for recently. John was helping his daughter and grandson by taking them to catch the train at Haverfordwest and took the little lad into the carriage so he could strap him in . But as John tried to leave he found himself unable to get off the train because of others trying to get on that he couldn’t pass in the aisles. One lady actually refused to shift because she wanted to make sure of a seat and before John could make his escape the train was in motion and he had no option but to stay on it. Now Clarbeston Road is the first station but it is a request stop and luckily for our unhappy feller there was someone there waiting to board the train so he was able to get off and contact an amused neighbour, who drove out to Clarbie to pick John up so he could return to the train station in Haverfordwest to collect his own car.
When John told his saga to the lads at Haverfordwest County he expected a little sympathy but, needless to say, they only burst into fits of laughter – and his best pal there has even threatened to send his name and address to British Rail so that they can charge big John for his unscheduled railway trip!
Derek’s not hot on ironing
Derek Brazil completes a hat-trick of errors amongst the Bridge Meadow crowd this month as the popular first team boss has appeared at the ground with a big plaster adorning his right hand between thumb and fore-finger.
He tried to tell tales of fighting off lions to help a stranded meercat at Bristol Zoo, using his own version of Irish blarney but a little investigation revealed the truth – he got his finger caught in the folding mechanism of the family ironing board when he was pressing one of his smart shirts! He also had his leg pulled about performing such mundane tasks once the truth was out but at least he knows that if he loses his job at the Bridge Meadow Stadium in Haverfordwest he could always get a job at Widow Twankey’s Laundry in Prendergast!
Bernie caught a dog fish – and a dog!
Bernie Armstrong is the larger than life manager of Goodwick United who doubles up as a very good table tennis player, but also enjoys his sea fishing on the breakwater and Abermawr, near his palatial home in Goodwick.
He recently fancied an evening’s fishing at Abermawr and after digging up some lugworm in Fishguard Bay he also took a frozen mackerel for his 6pm to midnight venture, plus the family’s Westie dog Megan for company.
He caught a dog fish as it got dark but as he tried to re-bait his line he put it on the beach whilst he searched for something and the next thing was a noise from Megan which indicated that she had tried to eat the bait, hook and all!
Bernie had to struggle to catch her in the dark and had a few bite marks as he tried to prise open her mouth before extracting the line, only to find no sign of the hook – so he took her straight home to wife Karen, who insisted that Bernie take Megan to the vet the next day, just to be sure. Luckily the Armstrongs did take Megan because e-rays revealed the hook in her throat, just a fraction of an inch from a main artery! Megan required fairly extensive surgery and fortunately is back as full of beans as ever – but Bernie would ruefully say that the dogfish was the dearest catch he has ever made in his long time as an angler!
